To my wonderful, beautiful friend.
I miss you, that’s first.
I love you, that you know.
You loved my writing,
So it became tradition that, on your birthday,
I would write you a silly ditty.
(I think you liked them.)
But, this year, on your birthday,
Now you’ve gone,
Words fall short.
It’s tears that fall,
As words used to,
Soaking the page so the ink won’t stick.
Instead, my vocabulary sticks in my throat,
And I can’t speak
For words unsaid,
Should have saids.
I can’t hear for our last conversation,
Is on repeat in my ears.
But I don’t want it to stop,
For fear I’ll forget your voice.
Your voice as strong as your friendship,
As your love.
The love you gave us freely,
The love that drove you to be
The most incredible friend;
Who dragged me through the dark days towards the light.
And I wanted to be that light for you,
But now you’ve gone, the darkness is stifling
And I realise that you were the light;
And I realise I was stupid not to notice that before.
So I look at my tattoo,
The one we shared that says ‘sister’,
With three birds in its midst.
We didn’t know you’d fly away so soon,
Now we circle, lost,
Looking for the light.
I can’t sleep, so I look to the stars,
Remembering we are all stardust.
Their light reminds me of you,
Reminds me to remember that light
And to make that your legacy:
A legacy of light, of love,
But it’s hard to know what’s next.
What next, now that you’ve gone?
All I can do is finish as I began:
I miss you,
And I love you.